“Many of my life choices has taught me what whānau – or what unconditional love – means. 

Although we are not together, she is whānau. Our whole story I would do all over again; I don’t regret anything.

We met young, we married, we had children. When I met her I was openly, but not overtly, queer.  I met her through my partner at the time – Nathan – and we hit it off. Fast-forward to today; we both grew and we both developed, recognising that our world and our place within it had changed, which saw me in a new relationship (with new challenges!) with someone that happened to be of the same sex. 

I think it was a conscious choice to be actively grown up about the separation. It was a focus on us being our best selves for the kids and being a role model for honesty. This involved us talking about each other less and focusing on the kids more. 

You can’t divorce yourself from children right, your children are a bond for life. My children have kept me here in the best way, in Christchurch. I love my babies. 

I’m grateful because we are a modern family and we’re a contemporary family. And I really appreciate the concept of whānau versus family. I’m really grateful that our whānau has my (ex)wife in it; it has her family in it and my partner’s family. I love the idea that we have some very good friends of ours that we consider whānau, people who contribute to the upbringing of our children. I love that idea. 

So that’s what brings me joy. It’s my children, it’s whānau.”


Charity registration number: CC57701