Donald
“It isn’t common for men to be social workers, less than 10 percent are. I want guys to get the message that you can become a social worker or nurse and it is ok. Its dirty work or stressful work but you are able to go down the pathway that you are attracted to. Valuing what you do in your life is not just for women; it’s for men as well.
I was a mechanical engineer. I started there on a traditional male journey. When I was considering the role of being a social worker, I thought no, I couldn’t provide for a family. I didn’t know, at the time, that I didn’t have to do that. That I could not have kids until 40, which I did in the end. Also, I could rely on my partner to bring in some money; I didn’t really consider that at the time.
I grew up with three brothers and played ice hockey from the age of four onward. I went to an engineering university, which was almost all men. For me to semi-retire in New Zealand from Canada, at a hippie commune near Nelson and become a hippie with a ponytail and interact with women and children was nice. To take that time out of my life, what an honour, what a lucky person I am; I was reconstructing my life. I grew vegetables, learned more about myself, learned drama, did psychodrama and other workshops. Then I started to play guitar and sing. I started a choir in Nelson, I had never done much singing in a choral group, which was a big thing for me at the time. I did it because I could. It was new world type music. We had a choir of about 30 in two weeks, and it is still going. I tested myself first as a leader in that context.
It was during my five years on the hippie commune that I learned a lot about leadership and community. That was the time that I realised I could revisit becoming a social worker. I narrowed it down after a lengthy process and decided on social work in the end. I trained, did a masters of social work on top of my engineering degree. Got into it, did some child protection work, older persons, dementia, disability work with the deaf association and then started the Men’s Center.
The Men’s Center got me much closer to my passion. I cared about the men, in particular being a part of the men’s/personal growth movement in New Zealand and in Nelson. Then when I started thinking we could develop a men’s center for men, I was surprised to find myself running it. It’s been beautiful for me because I get to create all kinds of neat things, use my skills and a combination of knowledge and hopefully wisdom to actually lead us toward healthy systems we are creating. Create a healthy environment for the crew and people get taken care of, teaching and learning from each other.
I’ve done my own journey, with that; learning about and thinking about how men are and who they are in the world and appreciate what they do bring. I guess the dream is, our mission is: happy, healthy Canterbury men. So I would like to extend that to happy, healthy New Zealand men.”
– Donald