Sue & Lib
We get called Nanny Sue a Nanny Lib by the grandchildren. We often get referred to as the nannies.
Lib was working in social services. I was working in health promotion, public health. We found ourselves drawn to the same kind of work communities.
We were really connected in many different ways. We connected over music, music, movies, books, politics, you know… values.
It started off really slowly because we were older.
I say it was a slow process, but actually it was three or four months, and she moved into my house with me and my 16-year-old son. He was actually great, but the thing he had said to me when I told him that I was in a relationship was, ‘I’m really happy for you mum, but I don’t want them living with us.’ Well, three or four months later, she was living with us.
I’ve always been out at work, you know. I was 30 when I came out though, so I was older and a bit more secure in my identity.I think it’s important for older queer people to be visible in all facets of our lives so that younger people in the process of coming out see others who are like them.
Being a gay couple has not really been that much of an issue for me, but it is interesting when you think about the number of times you have to come out to people who make assumptions about you. Like on the football field, for instance. I’ve been standing on the sideline of football games for a long time, and Libs got really into it as well. We’d attend these games together when my son was younger, people would always assume that I had a male partner, and that’s the biggest annoyance for me.
I love living in Ōtautahi, I love Riverside Market, Tūranga and The Tannery. I do yoga and walk, I’ve got a regular walking mate.
I think people associate Lib with hats. Well, I certainly do, and the family does, and I think all your friends. Yeah, you are the hat person….”
– Sue
I’ve been a hat wearer since I was in my 20’s, I used to rock a beret in the 80’s. It’s easy because I don’t have to do anything with my hair – not that I’ve got a lot. I just really like wearing hats!
We go to yoga, we like the Arts Centre, The Lumiere Cinema. I go to the gym. We’ve both got volunteer bits and pieces that we’re involved in. I just had a big volunteering thing that ended. So now I’m kind of like, all right, what do I want to do? We just have a culture of giving back.
In ‘97 I came here, I’d started a relationship with someone and it didn’t last. Then it was very much: do I want to go home? Because I lived in Sydney, grew up in Adelaide, where was home?
Then Sue and I met, so I stayed. My mother would have been very happy if I’d gone back to Adelaide, but I think I would have slowly crumbled on the inside.
In my late 30’s I was working, but didn’t ever anticipate buying a house. And then, in our early 40s, we bought a house. I don’t think it was ever an aspiration of mine. But I’m very glad now, as I get closer to 70, that we are homeowners. I think it’s easier as an older person to not have a mortgage.
We’re just old queers, really, and young people are making it up as they go along.
I think it’s really important to be comfortable with who you are, and if you’re not, if you’re closeted, it’s really hard.
It’s really different now, but I’m glad that in the era that I grew up in, I could do what I did to make a stand. Back in the 70’s, it was a big thing to come out and say ‘I’m gay, I’m a lesbian, I’m queer, I don’t fit’, and go on marches. We were seen as just radical ratbags trying to fight for the rights that we needed to have, like marriage equality, for example.
If we don’t stand for something, then what is our role in life?
You come out every day. Straight people don’t have to because the world is straight, and if you’re not, then you’ve got to turn it just a little bit.”
– Lib
August 2026
This story is part of an inclusivity campaign in collaboration with InCommon and Christchurch Pride.